the institutions of his country, without showing any affectation of doing
so. Further, he was not fond of change nor unsteady, but he loved to stay
in the same places, and to employ himself about the same things; and
after his paroxysms of headache he came immediately fresh and vigorous to
his usual occupations. His secrets were not many, but very few and very
rare, and these only about public matters; and he showed prudence and
economy in the exhibition of the public spectacles and the construction
of public buildings, his donations to the people, and in such things, for
he was a man who looked to what ought to be done, not to the reputation
which is got by a man's acts. He did not take the bath at unseasonable
hours; he was not fond of building houses, nor curious about what he ate,
nor about the texture and color of his clothes, nor about the beauty of
his slaves. [Footnote: 1] His dress came from Lorium, his villa on the
coast, and from Lanuvium generally. [Footnote: 2] We know how he behaved
to the toll-collector at Tusculum who asked his pardon; and such was all
his behavior. There was in him nothing harsh, nor implacable, nor
violent, nor, as one may say, anything carried to the sweating point; but
he examined all things severally, as if he had abundance of time, and
without confusion, in an orderly way, vigorously and consistently. And
that might be applied to him which is recorded of Socrates, that he was
able both to abstain from, and to enjoy, those things which many are too
weak to abstain from, and cannot enjoy without excess. But to be strong
enough both to bear the one and to be sober in the other is the mark of a
man who has a perfect and invincible soul, such as he showed in the
illness of Maximus.
17. To the gods I am indebted for having good grandfathers, good parents,
a good sister, good teachers, good associates, good kinsmen and friends,
nearly everything good. Further, I owe it to the gods that I was not
hurried into any offence against any of them, though I had a disposition
which, if opportunity had offered, might have led me to do something of
this kind; but, through their favor, there never was such a concurrence
of circumstances as put me to the trial. Further, I am thankful to the
gods that I was not longer brought up with my grandfather's concubine,
and that I preserved the flower of my youth, and that I did not make
proof of my virility before the proper season, but even deferred the
time; that I was subjected to a ruler and a father who was able to take
away all pride from me, and to bring me to the knowledge that it is
possible for a man to live in a palace without wanting either guards or
embroidered dresses, or torches and statues, and such-like show; but that
it is in such a man's power to bring himself very near to the fashion of
a private person, without being for this reason either meaner in thought,
or more remiss in action, with respect to the things which must be done
for the public interest in a manner that befits a ruler. I thank the gods
for giving me such a brother, who was able by his moral character to
rouse me to vigilance over myself, and who at the same time pleased me by
his respect and affection; that my children have not been stupid nor
deformed in body; that I did not make more proficiency in rhetoric,
poetry, and the other studies, in which I should perhaps have been
completely engaged, if I had seen that I was making progress in them;
that I made haste to place those who brought me up in the station of
honor, which they seemed to desire, without putting them off with hope of
my doing it some other time after, because they were then still young;
that I knew Apollonius, Rusticus, Maximus; that I received clear and
frequent impressions about living according to nature, and what kind of a
life that is, so that, so far as depended on the gods, and their gifts,
and help, and inspirations, nothing hindered me from forthwith living
according to nature, though I still fall short of it through my own
fault, and through not observing the admonitions of the gods, and, I may